医生幽默笑话中英文翻译

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有关医生幽默笑话中英文翻译

　The doctor lives downstairs

　医生住在楼下

　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

　”医生“她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"

　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　他从头到脚打量了她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　英语幽默笑话：死于肝癌

　 那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

　Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

　Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

　丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

　英语幽默笑话：你精神正常吗？

　 那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

　Are you a normal person?

　你精神正常吗？

　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..."said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢？””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。

　北京会是下一个雾都吗？Will Beijing Be the Next Foggy City?

　On December, 1952, London was surrounded by the poisonous foggy for at least 4 days. Due to the poisonous air, the hospitals in London were crowed with patients, more than 4000 people died because of the foggy. In the next two month, 8000 people passed away. London, who used to proud of her fast growing economic, at this moment, she had to swallow the heavy price. After this incident, London had made up her mind that she must get rid of the poisonous foggy, and brought the city back to life again. After twenty years of hard working, London had made a balance between economic and environment. The win-win outcome had inspired the whole world.

　1952年12月，伦敦被毒雾笼罩了至少4天。因为毒雾，伦敦的医院挤满了病人，超过4000人死亡。在随后的两个月，又有8000人去世。伦敦，这个曾经以快速增长的经济而骄傲的城市，在这一刻，付出了沉重的代价。这次事故后，伦敦狠下心要摆脱掉“雾都”的帽子，让城市重获新生。在通过20年的不懈努力之后，伦敦在经济发展和环境治理中找到了平衡。这个双赢的结果对世界有很大的启发。

　Beijing, the second biggest city in China, has faced the same situation, the foggy. Getting into winter, the air in Beijing was extremely bad;?the foggy is surrounding the city for days. Thanks to today’s advanced health service;?people can use various ways to protect themselves from the poisonous foggy. However, this isn’t the right way to fix the problems. The children dare not play outside;?the traffic light cannot be seen because of the thick foggy, this will increase the possibility of traffic accidents;?people have to wear breathing mask if they need to go outside. The clean air cannot make people to live forever, but at least it can make sure people are not suffering from coughing. However, we’re just too blind to see. If everybody plants a tree, the air will be clean someday. But the ironic part is the governments still chase the rapid growth of GDP, and play deaf and dumb to the environment. Do we really have to walk the same path just like old London?

　北京，这个中国第二大的`城市，现如今面临着同样的问题：毒雾。进入冬季以来，北京的空气变得特别的差。迷雾笼罩城市，迟迟不肯散去。感谢如今先进的医疗服务，人们可以用多种方法来抵制毒雾。但这也是治标不治本。小孩子不能外出游玩，交通灯看不见，增大了车祸的风险；如果一定要出门，那就得带口罩。干净的空气不能使人长生不老，但是至少让人们远离咳嗽之苦。然而，我们却视而不见。如果每个人种一棵树，空气就会变干净一些。但讽刺的是政府部门却在一味的追求GDP的增长，对环境问题装聋作哑。难道我们真的要走上旧时伦敦的老路么？

　I don’t want Beijing or any other cities in China to be the next foggy city. This is so scary. I hope we can return to our offspring a clean sky and fresh air.

　我不希望北京或者是中国的任何一个城市变成下一个“雾都”。这太可怕了。我希望我们能还给我们的子孙后代一个干净的蓝天和新鲜的空气。

　编辑 angel

　英语笑话 谁是傻子

　 那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

　 Who is nuts ?

　谁是傻子？

　In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said;"Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"The doctor said;“No,you have to pull him down at once;otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."

　一家精神病院里，医生走进一个病人的房间，发现病人正吊在天花板上晃来晃去。医生吓坏了，担心病人摔下来一命呜呼，赶紧叫护士把病人拉下来。护士说：¨医生，这个病人每天都认为自己是一盏灯，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。“医生说：¨不行，你 还是得马上把他拉下来，免得他摔死。

　After a pause,the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"

　护士停顿了一下，说：¨可是，如果我把他拉下来，灯不就熄了吗？

　英语笑话：三只猩猩

　 那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

　Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one.

　有三只猩猩一个接一个地从树上掉下来。

　the first one was sick,the Second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure.

　第一只生病了，第二只盲目模仿，第三只屈服于同僚压力

地道英语幽默笑话带翻译？

英语幽默笑话带翻译

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to thehospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "Ithink that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."saidthe doctor,

Hearing this, theman moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive.""Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better thanyou!"

医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is verycrowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says tohim.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

没有我你们走不了

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At thisage, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always askingquestions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there arestanding two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I amdrunk."

"But,dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

4:Hospitality

The hostessapologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyesthan your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In therat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I wasblack.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold,I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.

When I'm sick, I'mblack.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, youwere pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You'reblue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green whenyou're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是**的。你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。而你，却叫我「有色人种」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers werelooking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look,"said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes,"said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother andthe children. Where is the father?"

The elder brotherthought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting thepictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave youfive rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

老师：九只？

乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on adiet，a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she hadoutgrown long ago．

“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband lookedat her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，butthese are my jeans．”

那是我的裤子!

一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”

9：Themean man's party

The notoriouscheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to findhis apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with yourelbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use myelbow and foot?"

"Well,gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, areyou?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

10：AllI do is pay

"My family isjust like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is theminister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughteris foreign secretary."

"Soundsinteresting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?"

"I'm thepeople. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付钱

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子

是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

用英语写一篇笑话集锦

笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来，欢迎大家阅读!

地道英语幽默笑话1：

The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,

一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

“先生，”牙医说道，

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to e out.”

“恐怕你拖得太久了，这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。

"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

“那得花多少钱?，’小气鬼问医生。

"A thousand dollars. "

“一千块美金。”

Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

“这里是一百块，”吝啬鬼说。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好

地道英语幽默笑话2：

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do e，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

但是第二天，那个 *** 人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些 *** 人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

地道英语幽默笑话3：

And You Think You've Got Problems

你认为你有问题吗?

"Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对精神病医生说道。

"Go ahead and tell me about them "

“继续说，告诉我你的问题。”

"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

“喔，是这样的，我在乡下有房地产，另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇。”

"So, what's the problem?"

"那问题在哪里呢?"

"I only make $ 100 a week!"

“我一星期只赚一百块美金!”

以上就是我为大家带来的，希望大家喜欢! ?

笑话以一种幽默和嘲笑的方式使人们明白事物的本质,事物的发展轨迹和过程,人生的哲理、做人的道理和做人的道德规范。下面是我带来的用英语写笑话，欢迎阅读!

用英语写笑话篇一

　向你的烦恼说再见

　A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

　一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

　Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "

　那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

　"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

　“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

　the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"

　那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

　"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

　“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

　The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

　印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。

　Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

　接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

　"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "

　“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”

　用英语写笑话篇二

　黑人英语

　The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.

　一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉?梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。

　On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.

　手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。

　"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.

　"亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉?梅问道。"

　"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.

　"宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"

　用英语写笑话篇三

　财政学的一课

　Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"

　史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”

　"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "

　“当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。”

　Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.

　下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。

　"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"

　“嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?"

　" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "

　“四十万元材料，四十万元工资。”

　"I'll get back to you. "

　“我以后再同你联系。”

　Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."

　最后可翰?高斯坦?雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。

　$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"

　“一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?"

　"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks.

　“没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”

　用英语写笑话篇四

　听到那样真令人难过

　A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground.

　一位外国游客到美国大西部游览，碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。

　"What are you listening for?" heasked.

　"你在听什么呢?"他询问道。

　"Stagecoach pass about half hour ago.

　“一辆马车半小时前曾经过这里。”

　"How can you tell?"

　“你怎么知道呢?'?

　"Broke my neck. "

　“我的脖子被撞断了。”

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